Let's go Road Racing

"At least they only run that course once a year"
- My response when asked how I enjoyed my return to Road Racing.

The chap who now owns my Willier asked if I'd like to come over to Queenstown and race to Glenorchy - a mere 43km away.

Not having been to Glenorchy previously, this was met some enthiusiasm and ticked a couple of boxes.

I drew on some sagely advice from a stallwart of the Canterbury Road Racing scene (CRRS)
They love acronyms in CHCH these days.

"Start the race with some "smack talk"
like are you going to be racing ?wearing those girls glasses!
That breaks the ice with the group and puts there heart-rate up and they will pedal in anger for the start.
Then half-wheel every bastard there, then gutter them once you have finished with! then and smile and say thanks for the team effort mate !
then just start yelling at people about the way they ride or what wheels they have on or things like "thats a shit helmet did you mum pick that one out for at the shop ?"
Dont forget to have a few carbo-shots and a bananana or something always save the peel as they go good in spokes of other riders and if it's a team throw your water bottles at them if they try and out sprint you.
If you have to lead out don't! pretend your legs have no power and soft pedal turning it into a negative race. Then look for the breakaway stick with em then roll them for the sprint! and dont forget to fist pump over the line. great for photos
Oh and because youré a road cyclist "racing" you are the most important prick out there so ride in the middle of your side of the road so traffic have a hassle getting around i think that's pretty much how it's done well that's how i have been shown over the last 3 years road racing in canterbury."

Ten bucks for entry and a day licence, stern words at the race briefing about NOT crossing the centre line and we were off in D grade.

Yep, only the broom wagon behind us.
Off we went into a howling headwind and the first of a few hills - that being my perception.
The reality was a howling headwind and many many hills - to which I present the course profile:

I thought I would shun the latest in technological developments and left the Garmin, SRM's Powertaps, Deep Dish Carbon Wheels at home.
Just the Heart Rate Monitor thanks.
Amy - I can still crack 175 BPM !
Can't hold it, just the high score !

One one of the hills in the middle I remember pulling up so hard on the pedals my cleats were click clacking like Mr Eds hooves.
No matter, 36 x 27 = made it.

So, some 2hrs and five mins I rolled over the line in 6th place.
Maybe next year I'll feel like rolling back to Queenstown in the bunch after prize giving ?

My Name is Earl

Here's where it all started.

Tom couldn't buy beer at the Soopy because he didn't have any ID. Marc went to buy the beers for him and the checkout lady said he could n't do that either.

Then I stepped in, told Tom off, told the lady he was my son, she told me I should know better and we left with no beers.

Tom not happy.

I drove to next liquor store and ordered everyone to get out.

We had a pint of Emmerson's Pilsner.

Then another.

Then I think Marc wanted to go home, but I said we'll have another and Marc can you drive please.

I think lots of Dunedin mtb people converged upon Pembroke Wines & Spirits at this point because the place was packed.

Then I saw this guy walking across the street, yelled at him, he yelled back then joined us for more beer.

We got silly, told filthy jokes, I dropped my camera in my beer but it still works because it's waterproof.

Keighley texted and said where are you ?

I replied we had done the shopping and were nearly ready to collect the pop up tent for the mtb race the next day.

Marc was urging us to go - evidently rang Keighley and said Richard won't leave - help.

Keighley texted me and said come home now, you're fucking it up for everyone.

We left.

Except I co-erced Tom into doing a runner to Waterbar where they were having Octoberfest.

We, mainly I, thought we were hilarious with our $10 Steins of Carlsberg.

Just before 9pm, Tom texted this message to Marc:

"Richard is hammered. Please come and get us in 28 minutes when I have finished this stein"

Then the bouncer(s) walked in wearing a shirt and tie under a hoody to which I enquired why would you wear a tie in Wanaka ?

Tom was frantically trying to tell me he's the bouncer, to which I paid no heed.

"Because I work here" he replied.

What do you do I asked ?

"I'm the bouncer ! "

Hey, buddy you can wear whatever you like as long as I leave with my teeth shortly.

Marc arrived, we went home, my name was mud (again) I may have been just the tiniest bit sick and went to bed with no supper.

In fact I couldn't stomach anything until 12.30 the next day.
And after seeing Marc running with this man/girl I'm not surprised.

 

Let's talk about new fangdangled formats for just about everything to do with today's modern MTB.

INTENSE HARD EDDIE 29ER FRAME
Frame material: Carbon Fibre.

Bottom bracket - Oversize hole 46mm diameter.
Had to buy a plastic push in thing so I can use my "old" fancy pants threaded bottom bracket.

Headset - Lower = drop in 1.5" internal bearing. Top =  drop in 1 1/8th" internal bearing.
Can't use Chris King "regular"1 1/8th headset.

Front Derailleur - most of today's derailleurs have all the guts hanging out the back - rubbing on the tire in this instance.
Fortunately with good stock to draw on I have a late model one that'll work.
The 1990 XT with steel cage lives in the parts box for another day.

Rear disc brake - runs underneath the downtube and along the underside of the chainstay.
Needed a new longer hose fitted.
$100 ouch. And I measured it wrong, so had to cut it once home and now requires re-bleeding.

Shifter cables - run internally, but unlike the 4 Kleins I have owned they do not come with pre lined inners.
Note to self: next time run the cables through the frame before excitedly installing new bottom bracket assembly and headset.
This will enable quick and easy installation of said cables instead of blindly wriggling them around in a post caffeine overloaded state.

I think that tomorrow I shall try just 2 coffees, they say one should cut back gently.

Other than that, looks nice.
Weighing in at 24.11 pounds - some 5.5 pounds lighter than the dual suspension Spider 29er.

Queenstown CX race round two 2012 - special Tech Feature

For this prestgious race, our ramshackle team selected nothing but the finest of accomodation.
Photo credit: Wang Chung.

First up we feature Ken Feist's new FELT carbon CX spectacular. Note the white cantilever brakes on the front forks.
Photo Credit: Wang Chung.

And also brakes on the rear of the bike too. Note the nifty hanger with it's subtle banana like stance.
Photo Credit: Wang Chung.

Looks like the owner prefers FSA carbon cranks and a suitably well matched ceramic bottom bracket assembly. Note the Shimano pedals - everyone's prefered choice for shoe/crank interface.
Photo Credit: Wang Chung.

Here's something you don't often see in Tech Features - the filthy underside of a saddle. Fascinating.
Note the 5 screws holding the scuff cover on.
How about that two bolt seat post.
Photo Credit: Wang Chung.

Here, the fork crown seamlessly integrates into the frame. The Pro issue carbon lookalike tape adds a measure of security for the electronic shifting molecular moment transfer cables.
Photo Credit: Wang Chung.

Old meets new. In a previous life there would have been a drink bottle cage mounted here.
So handily the battery pack is mounted here instead, for all the poor people to see.
Photo Credit: Wang Chung.

Another angle showing the battery pack, front servo shifter and chainring combination. We couldn't see any markings on the size of the chainrings and were too stupid to cound to 36/48.
Photo Credit: Wang Chung.

And the rear servo shifting mechanism. Once again the Pro issue tape securely holds the moment transfer cable in place. The backstays also have the manufactururs name displayed.
Photo Credit: Wang Chung.

Ample tire clearance here. If it all went pear shaped and by some unfortunate accident your balls got sucked through the forks I'm guessing it would still smart.
Note the helmet jauntily placed on the handlebars.
Photo Credit: Wang Chung.

Rear tire clearance - much less room for ball sucking here.
Note the chain.
Photo Credit: Wang Chung.

In reply to facebook post of 30/3/2012

https://www.facebook.com/#!/photo.php?fbid=248933215202929&set=a.140499106046341.28180.100002587574083&type=1&theater


Matt Keen: I'm too old to fully gain the benefits of paperboy delivery size wheels.
Ewan Robertson: I'm all about brand loyalty: not counting the 3 Cannondales etc etc in the garage...
Fast Freddy: Oh yeah ! Heaven~
Scott Emmens: thank god for a sane comment
James Service: As Ollie Brook-White reads most FB posts, of course the tires are aligned correctly. Have you read those warning stickers ? A truer word as never spoken. And lets face it. non Mac users would never have spotted it.
James Pollard: I bought it locally, so its OK.
Cam Cole: Fucking pro as always.
Steve Collins: you should see me with ahrdon.
Jono Baddiley: I still get the invites as Keighley is with the dark side, but I choose not to go. Kind of like AA meetings for quitters.
Mary Lou-Roulston: good spotting, obviously posted before the second bottle kicked in.
James Lewis: after al lthe shit I gave you last night, I'm glad we're still talking
Matt Boulcott: arse kisser
Gale Stonë: you could still have me.
Grant Tyrell: mid pack is ok these days, I have a whole Dictionary of excuses.
John Oldale: nobody's mrs has ever complained about an extra 3 inches.
Luke Hollister: ssssssssssssssh. before you know it they will be cool.
Ken Feist: that's what the Cannondale is for, but a JT tribute bike with drops would be so frikken cool....

Round Lake Dunstan 96km Fun Ride 9th January 2012

3 training rides had precluded:
15km around Wanaka 2nd December 2011
50km from Lake Hawea to Makarora 17th December 2011
70km from Wanaka to Roaring Meg Power Station 27th December 2011
25km on the tandem Wanaka to Lugatte and return 1st January 2011

Unsurprisingly, a different bike was rolling for this year’s ride.
The Wilier with Ultegra/Dura ace has a new home, so with a new to me 10 speed Dura ace groupset on hand I quickly loaded it onto the nearest available frame: a 1985 Panasonic Raleigh built from Reynolds 531C steel tubing.



Luckily my prior to event day rides had settled everything down and resulted in a few subtle changes:
A shorter stem
Different wheels with Alex A23 rims riding on 28mm Conti tires
Compact cranks but with a 36 on the inside, not a 34
A quick tune up from Sheldon Sharman who no doubt shook his head over a few small insignificant details that I typically would have overlooked.

I watched the weather like a hawk for a few days before hand....wondering if booties would be needed ?
Event day dawned bright and sunny.
Transport with Leigh (new owner of the Wilier) and Mr Ed (former owner of Radio Wanaka) was filled with speculation of a rolling quartet in tight formation and various other tales of conquest.

The reailty was of course very different as Marc Sheldon Sharman and I ducked off for a coffee up the road and arrived back with two minutes to start.

Marc tried to quietly sneak down the side of the 200 hundred strong bunch and bury himself in the middle, I called him back and said we could jump right in the front when the whistle blew, which is just how it played out.....
So, big ringing it up the road and main bridge over Lake Dunstan, I was bouncing off the cat’s eyes withTom Skully just in front of me.
I pondered how I could gracefully slide backwards through the bunch when the hammer goes down in a hundred metres....

Lucky for me a small gap appeared as we turned and slide over to the inside we go and backwards in one quick manouvre.
I figured a nice bunch would arrive sooner or later that would match my pace.
The tailwind to Tarras passed without event, the cross/tail wind to Lugatte did as well.
The two hills on this leg were ok for me this year – I even grabbed the pre arranged bottle from Keighley on the last uphill....
Leigh & Ed stopped by the Lugatte pub, but got the bottles and their mojo all mixed up requiring a quick swap around with the assistance of the Radio Wanaka car.
I started to hit the wall with about 30km to go, but another hot squishy yoghurt coated muesli bar soon had me back in the drops and ready to fire for the minor placings sprint.
Just so we’re clear here – I ended up 114th out of 215 starters, so it’s hardly podium stuff.....
However it may well have been Boonen, the Schlecks and Vinakorov the way the bunch was behaving....
Or misbehaving.
Chicks were throwing in flyers, I got pushed into the pot holes and gravel to which I sat up and told the bunch they were about of get done over by a chick and they were a bunch of muppets.
Resuming the closing stages I found a small gap, slid through and fed it the jandel, unfortunately not leaving enough room to pass the lady in white shorts on a Bianchi with a squeaking dry chain.
However, a new course record for me of 2hrs 44.01 can stand for another year, while Marc, Ed and Leigh can only wish they’d sat on my wheel from the start.

Oh, I forgot: Joe Cooper smoked everyone with his hairy legs: 2hrs 14 mins