- My response when asked how I enjoyed my return to Road Racing.
The chap who now owns my Willier asked if I'd like to come over to Queenstown and race to Glenorchy - a mere 43km away.
Not having been to Glenorchy previously, this was met some enthiusiasm and ticked a couple of boxes.
I drew on some sagely advice from a stallwart of the Canterbury Road Racing scene (CRRS)
They love acronyms in CHCH these days.
"Start the race with some "smack talk"
like are you going to be racing ?wearing those girls glasses!
That breaks the ice with the group and puts there heart-rate up and they will pedal in anger for the start.
Then half-wheel every bastard there, then gutter them once you have finished with! then and smile and say thanks for the team effort mate !
then just start yelling at people about the way they ride or what wheels they have on or things like "thats a shit helmet did you mum pick that one out for at the shop ?"
Dont forget to have a few carbo-shots and a bananana or something always save the peel as they go good in spokes of other riders and if it's a team throw your water bottles at them if they try and out sprint you.
If you have to lead out don't! pretend your legs have no power and soft pedal turning it into a negative race. Then look for the breakaway stick with em then roll them for the sprint! and dont forget to fist pump over the line. great for photos
Oh and because youré a road cyclist "racing" you are the most important prick out there so ride in the middle of your side of the road so traffic have a hassle getting around i think that's pretty much how it's done well that's how i have been shown over the last 3 years road racing in canterbury."
Ten bucks for entry and a day licence, stern words at the race briefing about NOT crossing the centre line and we were off in D grade.
Yep, only the broom wagon behind us.
Off we went into a howling headwind and the first of a few hills - that being my perception.
The reality was a howling headwind and many many hills - to which I present the course profile:
I thought I would shun the latest in technological developments and left the Garmin, SRM's Powertaps, Deep Dish Carbon Wheels at home.
Just the Heart Rate Monitor thanks.
Amy - I can still crack 175 BPM !
Can't hold it, just the high score !
One one of the hills in the middle I remember pulling up so hard on the pedals my cleats were click clacking like Mr Eds hooves.
No matter, 36 x 27 = made it.
So, some 2hrs and five mins I rolled over the line in 6th place.
Maybe next year I'll feel like rolling back to Queenstown in the bunch after prize giving ?