Hawea Epic 95km 2013

How hard can it be riding a farm track around a lake - water is flat right ??

"much to learn in 6 hours and 40 minutes you have"

 - Look Yoda, its a cold southerly, dark and drizzling - what would you know.

Apparently he knows lots, cause I did learn many things that day, just a week ago.

4.45am is really early to wake up, have coffee and try to keep breakfast down

5.30am is not any more civil, but the lift to the start with Zeph & Sarah was.
"Here, let me put your bike on, have another coffee"
Love that shit.

Note to self, take a head torch next time, trying to wipe your bum in a DOC toilet in pitch black is pure guess work.

Ok, 5 mins to start. We are in the first 3 rows. It is dark still and then we ride through a tree canopy which is darker.
Some muppet tries to lock handle bars with me, but he ends up in the water ditch. A few folks have lights - they are my friends.

A 2 km climb early on has many many people removing jackets. I unzip mine and sweat it out.

I pass many slower riders on the downhills.
They pass me right back when I get a flat.
I pump my shit arse little pump like maybe one hundred times, the tire self seals and we're off again. I catch Sarah crossing the river at the top off the lake.
As soon as I turned into the headwind it was much much colder - funny that.

Gloves saturated from rain and river crossing. Can't move ankle/shin interface, so stomp on pedals like a Russian.

The first 4 guys in the 125km race pass me soon after - they are like a team pursuit on the track.
Didn't look like fun so left them to it.

Saw my personal photographer, Stefan and mechanic Nick at Green Bush hut. Refill camelback, eat food, put on knee warmers and jacket.
Happier now.

Riders with grim faces on hard tails pass me, they are hating life right now. Glad I stayed up late the night before and made a few quick mods to dual suspension 29er:


Install new used brake pads.

Tighten headset.

Changed wheels.

And cassette.

Oiled chain.

Forks had the new cartridge installed mid week.

New bearings installed after facing bottom bracket shell.

Swap out pedals - hate mine to fall off, huh.

Otherwise I just pumped up the tires




The scenery is stunning - the near valleys are topped with snow - it really is picturesque.

I feel like I'm stuck on the slow lane and the only people I pass are broken down. This is hard work.


Trying to eat and drink is a chore. Every time you think It's food time, an up or down arrives that requires either two hands on the bars or an empty mouth to breath.


Drink some water - sure thing. Take a leak - it's really cold.

Repeat all day.







I caught Sarah who had a puncture.

I took over while she ate.

We laughed at some guy who was laughing at us, until he realised he had a puncture too. He was n't happy and his mother would not of approved of his potty mouth.

We were gone before he even had a tube in.


Steve Gurney nearly takes me out as I veer left to go around a big hole/puddle. He's coming up the inside, but not fast enough. I can see his bars beside me so I do the nice thing and go through the hole. I laughed and said a few words.

I also said "you're lucky I'm not a train Steve"

He laughed and commented that my jacket was the same colour.

Ho ho ho.


Dingle Station was serving tea and scones.


The ride thus far was serving up pain and suffering.

It was fun fun fun and then it wasn't anymore.

I thought Keighley might not like to do this next year.


No matter, the last 30 kms was on gravel road that was damp and not fast.

Oh, unless your name is Gavin Mason and the big diesel was finally getting would up after too much steamed pudding the night before. Freak.


I walked up the hill out of Timaru Creek so I could eat and stretch everything.

Melissa Newell passed me looking very wobbly.

Squeaking chain - hey lady, can I oil that for ya ?

"sure, got any water and food ? I'm frozen"

She finished 9th women home in the long one.


Hannah Thorn caught me at the top while I was taking another leak. Her chain was barking too. She passed Melissa before the finish.


Sarah and I rode and rode and rode. I'm sure the distance signs were up the shit.


No matter, we crossed the line to rapturous applause from the locals and then were besieged by the local CRT real estate agent and his mate the cop.

"how was it, would you do it again? do you like my new bike?'

"Hard, no, that's nice."


I felt pretty broken, my eyes were full of crap - glasses got rain on both sides early on, so sat atop my helmet the whole way. Might go pursuit helmet with visor next time.




My back was so sore I nearly asked Keighley to undo my shoes.


Yes, I fell asleep on the couch mid afternoon and had an early night.


I have no idea why I rode to work on the Monday, but I did.


It was a big day out or me, but hey, a few guys did it twice in one day last year and while I rode for just over 6 hours, in Rotorua the 24 hr champs were on - many people were riding solo, much of it in the rain and dark.

Spare a thought for those suckers.

That's truely a big day out.


How about next year the 24 hr champs bring themselves to Hawea and we see you solo's bust out 4 laps ??

Naseby 12 hour MTB Race, 2013

Entering this race is prestigious in itself.
45 mins after they open, the entries are full.
Luckily for me, we sponsor it, so staying up past midnight was not required.

Our usual compliment of men folk were up for it:
Marc Sharman - now residing in Christchurch, working for KRD who are an importer of wonderful MTB goods such as WTB, Raceface, Lezyne and more, I'm sure.
Matt Boulcott - recently married to the lovely Emily and more recently residing in Palmerston North where he deposits over 1/2 his paycheck from flying helicopters, directly into the bike shop called Crank It.
Myself - still in Wanaka - no recent life changing events to report other than given up the devils drink since January, this is actually in question as to whether it is making me faster or slower.

Two new additions to the team for this year.

Simone Maier - superstar of the Ironman and Adventure racing circuit. Recent awesomeness include smashing the Motutapu race record by 8 minutes, but due to a technical bumble you won't see her name on the winners board.
Moving on she won the Goldrush a couple of weeks back by like an hour.
And finished 4th in the Challenge Wanaka Ironman in January.

Melissa Newell - Tall, Blond and with dodgy hips, I can say no more at this stage.

Mr Corbett had entered Solo, withdrawn, faltered, withdrawn his withdrawl, then turned up to ride Solo as if nothing had happened. And he did the most laps with a sneaky beer in between. Confusing I know.

Zero degrees and frozen windscreens greeted us in Ranfurly.
Dropping our gear out of a chopper would have been slower than our dump and run with our 3 cars and 6 people at the pits.

Cam McHardy had the helm at our campsite this year; his dad Jeff who is our regular camp mother had St Johns duty this year. We share with 4 other teams, so there is always plenty of action going on.

The only thing I forgot this year was arm warmers, but Mops (Melissa) had some new kit from one of her long line of sponsors, I borrowed them and they were great - so good, that if I was in a position to do so, I'd be buying a new home from  www.mikegreerhomes.co.nz

As you can see from the live timing system that Emily was in charge of, there was no delay in disappointment (in my case), much chest beating (from Marc Sharman), who the hell messed with my suspension ? (Matt Boulcott), well I'm still awesome (Simone), and take that you pussy boys - fastest lap hell yeah (Mops)

Early on we were in 6th place in the Mixed Teams, we liked that spot so much we stayed there right to the end.

It was truely a great day out - a constant stream of riders passing by from the kids, solo's, singlespeeders, fast whippets, not so fast older folk, fancy dress - you name it, there it was.

Having done this event I think 4 years now, you get to recognise many faces and meet a few new ones and a few faraway voices over the phone.

For myself, it's especially a big day out.
Organising a team, the tent, timing, food, 2 bikes and riding laps too.
Then there's the other stuff, like been first into the showers, yelling at unsuspecting souls from the sidelines with the only saving grace being: there is little chance of anyone turning around to discuss matters further.

If I had one request to make it better - top the trees so the sun can reach us all day long in sponsors row.
Sure does look pretty at nigh though:

Next year is the tenth anniversary.
Feel free to submit your application to be on my team, you're welcome.

Let's go Road Racing

"At least they only run that course once a year"
- My response when asked how I enjoyed my return to Road Racing.

The chap who now owns my Willier asked if I'd like to come over to Queenstown and race to Glenorchy - a mere 43km away.

Not having been to Glenorchy previously, this was met some enthiusiasm and ticked a couple of boxes.

I drew on some sagely advice from a stallwart of the Canterbury Road Racing scene (CRRS)
They love acronyms in CHCH these days.

"Start the race with some "smack talk"
like are you going to be racing ?wearing those girls glasses!
That breaks the ice with the group and puts there heart-rate up and they will pedal in anger for the start.
Then half-wheel every bastard there, then gutter them once you have finished with! then and smile and say thanks for the team effort mate !
then just start yelling at people about the way they ride or what wheels they have on or things like "thats a shit helmet did you mum pick that one out for at the shop ?"
Dont forget to have a few carbo-shots and a bananana or something always save the peel as they go good in spokes of other riders and if it's a team throw your water bottles at them if they try and out sprint you.
If you have to lead out don't! pretend your legs have no power and soft pedal turning it into a negative race. Then look for the breakaway stick with em then roll them for the sprint! and dont forget to fist pump over the line. great for photos
Oh and because youré a road cyclist "racing" you are the most important prick out there so ride in the middle of your side of the road so traffic have a hassle getting around i think that's pretty much how it's done well that's how i have been shown over the last 3 years road racing in canterbury."

Ten bucks for entry and a day licence, stern words at the race briefing about NOT crossing the centre line and we were off in D grade.

Yep, only the broom wagon behind us.
Off we went into a howling headwind and the first of a few hills - that being my perception.
The reality was a howling headwind and many many hills - to which I present the course profile:

I thought I would shun the latest in technological developments and left the Garmin, SRM's Powertaps, Deep Dish Carbon Wheels at home.
Just the Heart Rate Monitor thanks.
Amy - I can still crack 175 BPM !
Can't hold it, just the high score !

One one of the hills in the middle I remember pulling up so hard on the pedals my cleats were click clacking like Mr Eds hooves.
No matter, 36 x 27 = made it.

So, some 2hrs and five mins I rolled over the line in 6th place.
Maybe next year I'll feel like rolling back to Queenstown in the bunch after prize giving ?

My Name is Earl

Here's where it all started.

Tom couldn't buy beer at the Soopy because he didn't have any ID. Marc went to buy the beers for him and the checkout lady said he could n't do that either.

Then I stepped in, told Tom off, told the lady he was my son, she told me I should know better and we left with no beers.

Tom not happy.

I drove to next liquor store and ordered everyone to get out.

We had a pint of Emmerson's Pilsner.

Then another.

Then I think Marc wanted to go home, but I said we'll have another and Marc can you drive please.

I think lots of Dunedin mtb people converged upon Pembroke Wines & Spirits at this point because the place was packed.

Then I saw this guy walking across the street, yelled at him, he yelled back then joined us for more beer.

We got silly, told filthy jokes, I dropped my camera in my beer but it still works because it's waterproof.

Keighley texted and said where are you ?

I replied we had done the shopping and were nearly ready to collect the pop up tent for the mtb race the next day.

Marc was urging us to go - evidently rang Keighley and said Richard won't leave - help.

Keighley texted me and said come home now, you're fucking it up for everyone.

We left.

Except I co-erced Tom into doing a runner to Waterbar where they were having Octoberfest.

We, mainly I, thought we were hilarious with our $10 Steins of Carlsberg.

Just before 9pm, Tom texted this message to Marc:

"Richard is hammered. Please come and get us in 28 minutes when I have finished this stein"

Then the bouncer(s) walked in wearing a shirt and tie under a hoody to which I enquired why would you wear a tie in Wanaka ?

Tom was frantically trying to tell me he's the bouncer, to which I paid no heed.

"Because I work here" he replied.

What do you do I asked ?

"I'm the bouncer ! "

Hey, buddy you can wear whatever you like as long as I leave with my teeth shortly.

Marc arrived, we went home, my name was mud (again) I may have been just the tiniest bit sick and went to bed with no supper.

In fact I couldn't stomach anything until 12.30 the next day.
And after seeing Marc running with this man/girl I'm not surprised.

 

Let's talk about new fangdangled formats for just about everything to do with today's modern MTB.

INTENSE HARD EDDIE 29ER FRAME
Frame material: Carbon Fibre.

Bottom bracket - Oversize hole 46mm diameter.
Had to buy a plastic push in thing so I can use my "old" fancy pants threaded bottom bracket.

Headset - Lower = drop in 1.5" internal bearing. Top =  drop in 1 1/8th" internal bearing.
Can't use Chris King "regular"1 1/8th headset.

Front Derailleur - most of today's derailleurs have all the guts hanging out the back - rubbing on the tire in this instance.
Fortunately with good stock to draw on I have a late model one that'll work.
The 1990 XT with steel cage lives in the parts box for another day.

Rear disc brake - runs underneath the downtube and along the underside of the chainstay.
Needed a new longer hose fitted.
$100 ouch. And I measured it wrong, so had to cut it once home and now requires re-bleeding.

Shifter cables - run internally, but unlike the 4 Kleins I have owned they do not come with pre lined inners.
Note to self: next time run the cables through the frame before excitedly installing new bottom bracket assembly and headset.
This will enable quick and easy installation of said cables instead of blindly wriggling them around in a post caffeine overloaded state.

I think that tomorrow I shall try just 2 coffees, they say one should cut back gently.

Other than that, looks nice.
Weighing in at 24.11 pounds - some 5.5 pounds lighter than the dual suspension Spider 29er.

Queenstown CX race round two 2012 - special Tech Feature

For this prestgious race, our ramshackle team selected nothing but the finest of accomodation.
Photo credit: Wang Chung.

First up we feature Ken Feist's new FELT carbon CX spectacular. Note the white cantilever brakes on the front forks.
Photo Credit: Wang Chung.

And also brakes on the rear of the bike too. Note the nifty hanger with it's subtle banana like stance.
Photo Credit: Wang Chung.

Looks like the owner prefers FSA carbon cranks and a suitably well matched ceramic bottom bracket assembly. Note the Shimano pedals - everyone's prefered choice for shoe/crank interface.
Photo Credit: Wang Chung.

Here's something you don't often see in Tech Features - the filthy underside of a saddle. Fascinating.
Note the 5 screws holding the scuff cover on.
How about that two bolt seat post.
Photo Credit: Wang Chung.

Here, the fork crown seamlessly integrates into the frame. The Pro issue carbon lookalike tape adds a measure of security for the electronic shifting molecular moment transfer cables.
Photo Credit: Wang Chung.

Old meets new. In a previous life there would have been a drink bottle cage mounted here.
So handily the battery pack is mounted here instead, for all the poor people to see.
Photo Credit: Wang Chung.

Another angle showing the battery pack, front servo shifter and chainring combination. We couldn't see any markings on the size of the chainrings and were too stupid to cound to 36/48.
Photo Credit: Wang Chung.

And the rear servo shifting mechanism. Once again the Pro issue tape securely holds the moment transfer cable in place. The backstays also have the manufactururs name displayed.
Photo Credit: Wang Chung.

Ample tire clearance here. If it all went pear shaped and by some unfortunate accident your balls got sucked through the forks I'm guessing it would still smart.
Note the helmet jauntily placed on the handlebars.
Photo Credit: Wang Chung.

Rear tire clearance - much less room for ball sucking here.
Note the chain.
Photo Credit: Wang Chung.

In reply to facebook post of 30/3/2012

https://www.facebook.com/#!/photo.php?fbid=248933215202929&set=a.140499106046341.28180.100002587574083&type=1&theater


Matt Keen: I'm too old to fully gain the benefits of paperboy delivery size wheels.
Ewan Robertson: I'm all about brand loyalty: not counting the 3 Cannondales etc etc in the garage...
Fast Freddy: Oh yeah ! Heaven~
Scott Emmens: thank god for a sane comment
James Service: As Ollie Brook-White reads most FB posts, of course the tires are aligned correctly. Have you read those warning stickers ? A truer word as never spoken. And lets face it. non Mac users would never have spotted it.
James Pollard: I bought it locally, so its OK.
Cam Cole: Fucking pro as always.
Steve Collins: you should see me with ahrdon.
Jono Baddiley: I still get the invites as Keighley is with the dark side, but I choose not to go. Kind of like AA meetings for quitters.
Mary Lou-Roulston: good spotting, obviously posted before the second bottle kicked in.
James Lewis: after al lthe shit I gave you last night, I'm glad we're still talking
Matt Boulcott: arse kisser
Gale Stonë: you could still have me.
Grant Tyrell: mid pack is ok these days, I have a whole Dictionary of excuses.
John Oldale: nobody's mrs has ever complained about an extra 3 inches.
Luke Hollister: ssssssssssssssh. before you know it they will be cool.
Ken Feist: that's what the Cannondale is for, but a JT tribute bike with drops would be so frikken cool....